Advice Needed Please
We have a little situation going on in our household... and short of telling Miss Beebo that no one likes (or enjoys) a tattle-tale, i am out of solutions. The tattle-taling has reached record proportions! She'll even be sitting in the exact same room as i and still feel the need to tell on her poor brother.
"Um, Miss Beebo...i am sitting right here. Please do not tell on your brother when i am right here, because if MommyO thinks what he did was inappropriate or dangerous, MommyO will deal with him."
"Okay Miss Beebo, thanks for telling me that your brother did that...but the time has passed, i didn't see it happen...let's move on."
I am unsure if the tattle-taling has reached school. Sheesh, really hope it is only ALL about her brother. And why, oh why, does she only tell on him when what he is doing isn't really worthy of a) discussing or b) punishing?
Then on Tuesday night, i was watching an episode of "Raising Hope" called 'Sleep Training'. In the episode, Jimmy is trying to figure out why he is so afraid of 'Dog Man'-- something that he has feared since childhood but can't really explain. A flashback of Jimmy and Maw Maw (played by Cloris Leachman) show them watching tv together, and a 'Dog Man' appears on the tv, scarring a young Jimmy who flees under the table! Maw Maw takes this opportunity to tell the scared boy that "The Dog Man eats children who do not keep their rooms tidy and especially loves to eat kids who tattletale!" Jimmy is super frightened and never forgets this.
So-- could i be this mean? Should i just tell Miss Beebo that there is a 'Tattle-tale Monster'?? Seems wrong to me, but for real, i am going to go crazy listening to this non-stop telling of tales.
What would you do?
Then on Tuesday night, i was watching an episode of "Raising Hope" called 'Sleep Training'. In the episode, Jimmy is trying to figure out why he is so afraid of 'Dog Man'-- something that he has feared since childhood but can't really explain. A flashback of Jimmy and Maw Maw (played by Cloris Leachman) show them watching tv together, and a 'Dog Man' appears on the tv, scarring a young Jimmy who flees under the table! Maw Maw takes this opportunity to tell the scared boy that "The Dog Man eats children who do not keep their rooms tidy and especially loves to eat kids who tattletale!" Jimmy is super frightened and never forgets this.
So-- could i be this mean? Should i just tell Miss Beebo that there is a 'Tattle-tale Monster'?? Seems wrong to me, but for real, i am going to go crazy listening to this non-stop telling of tales.
What would you do?
Synonyms of Tattle-taling: betrayer, canary [slang], deep throat, fink, informant, nark [British], rat, rat fink, snitch, snitcher, squealer, stoolie, stool pigeon, talebearer, tattler, informer, telltale, whistle-blower
Comments
For example, pay attention to her every move and when she tattles bring something up, like "Well, it's too bad that your brother did that but i saw you do this and you weren't punished. So leave him alone."
Or tell her every time you have to punish the little man she gets punished for tattling. Or, every time she tattles on him he gets a treat and she gets the consequence. Make her life hard for a day or two.
Start a chart. On it will be his every crime. And hers as well. tattling being the biggest crime of all. And she'll start to see that her crimes match his which makes her no better. She may want to start defending/protecting him over time so both their charts stay clean.
This is all probably terrible advice. My kids are perfect. They never tattle. I have no idea. Good luck to you!
(that was sarcasm. I don't want anyone thinking my kids are perfect. That's ridiculous!)
My oldest is constantly telling me what his brothers are doing to him. I just keep telling him over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... that he needs to tell his brothers nicely not to do what they are doing, and that if he ignores them and doesn't play with them then they will stop. This seems to have worked, or else the phase is passing ;)
Having raised 3 kids to adulthood, here's my two cents. You are in the here and now, and it seems like a significant issue. With things like this well behind me now, I can assure you that it's a phase and it will pass. She will grow out of it.
But since you are looking for an answer now, I would suggest this.....when she tattles, evaluate it as to whether or not it's something you need to act on NOW. If he is doing something dangerous or something that definitely needs your attention, then address it. If not, ignore her. Yes, I said ignore her. Not in a mean, you don't care type of way, but just don't react to it. She will soon learn that when her tattling doesn't get a reaction from you, then it won't be worth telling you.
Best of luck to you my friend.
Matty
With my grade sevens...
I don't want to hear that somebody said a bad word (unless they directed at you as name calling). I don't want to hear that someone is chewing gum unless we're in gym (and they could get hurt), etc.
During my studies to become a teacher, one of our readings was a Barbara Colorosso book called Children Are a Gift. In that book (if I remember correctly) she says something called "In Out or Both". When her students come to her with a tattle tale, she asks them "In Out or Both?"
In other words, are you getting someone into trouble, out of trouble, or both... like you're saving them from being hurt, but they're going to get in trouble as a result."
If it's only the first, then she doesn't want to hear about it.